Monday, July 28, 2014

I despise you

.

Because the moment you see a guy you fancy, you want that guy whether or not you are attached.

Because you get attached the moment you fancy a guy, without considering other factors.

Because to you, guys are prizes like little trophies you collect and keep

Because these actions are vile and make you no better than a player who breaks girls hearts.

Because on each guy you attach and detach yourself from, you imprint in them that girls are all bitches like you.

Because what makes it worse that it's church

.

Because your vicious attach-detach cycle causes people to come and go for the wrong reasons.

Because there is a significant difference in how you treat guys and girls

Because you don't really bother with girls

Because you claim that girls are "too girly" for you and you prefer guys

Because you go all the way out for guys

Because you see EVERY guy as a potential partner, not a brother in Christ

.

What I despise about this is

How the leaders don't seem to mind

How it's perfectly alright

How the people who notice aren't able to speak up about it

How the people who don't notice don't care

How everything just seems to work in your favour

How you are a threat but I am unable to express so without coming off as the bad person

.

What I despise about you most is

How you have never ever

Have taken the time

To change your actions

Despite the damage you made

And it just goes on

Friday, July 25, 2014

"I'm always here for you"

"I'm always here for you"
Said he who left us waiting for hours
Expecting for days
Gone for weeks

"I'm always here for you"
Said he as he replied his colleague about incoming cargo
Said he before he answered his 2am call from Chennai
Said he just before he left for the shipping yard in the middle of the weekend

"I'm always here for you"
Shouted he as his face bloated blood red
Prodded he as he interrogated
Yelled he as the sound echoed in the canal of my ear

"I'm always here for you"
he said

"I don't need people like you around me to constantly lift my hopes up only to toss them and let me down"

.


"I'm always here for you"
Said He at 8am
Said He at 3pm
Said He at 2am

"I'm always here for you"
Said He as He stayed up with me all night as I rushed my work
Said He as He delivered ice blended coconut to my doorstep
Said He as tears flowed out non stop onto His bare shoulder and mucus on His collar

"I'm always here for you"
Texted He after a bad night
Laughed He after a chat about the future
Whispered He to my overworked tear and mucus glands

"I'm always here for you"
I hope you are.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

I'd rather be rejected than cancelled
Because the former indicates disinterest from the start
And I'm okay with that
Because not everyone likes what I do

The latter however, gives you hope from the beginning
Hope
Hope and expectations 
Hope and expectations and excitement
Before the other party picks something over you even though you were first
Probably because that something else is more urgent
Probably because that something else is more important
Probably because that someone else is more important
Probably because you aren't as important and it's okay to disappoint you over the something else
And it sucks especially when it's something you were looking so forward to
And it sucks especially when so many people have let you down before
And it sucks especially because you thought it was going to happen
And it sucks especially because it's you.

Monday, July 14, 2014

I'm hoping that it lasts
Though we know it won't.
Because deep down I know
That the cause would probably be me
Unable to be composed
Unable to come clean
Unable to be as perfect and you thought
Eventually destroying it all

Afterall
That's the only thing I'm capable of.

Friday, July 11, 2014

I had daren't say that you took my breath at first sight
At the thought of being embarrassed to tears by the sound of your laughter
Magic happened
When you said I took yours then too

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Unfortunately the cause of my greatest joys as well as my saddest tears

Thursday, June 26, 2014

'Cause you brought out the best of me
A part of me I'd never seen
You took my soul wiped it clean
Our love was made for movie screens